Join me on a blessed and heartfelt journey of discovery!

An Exercise in Futility

July 30, 2020
by admin

To say the human race has undergone a shift in 2020 would probably be an understatement. Many of us went from having hectic schedules to having no schedule and for others if at all possible, the schedule became more inundated. Futures that seemed once secure and well thought out have vanished or at least become more tenuous. There has been upheaval no matter your geographic location or your socioeconomic status. Things are different. Life is different.

Understandably, all this change has lead to a lot of uncertainty. For me, I like to think I have control over events in my life, at least a bit, and when this supposed control is no longer apparent my survival instincts come to the fore with different coping mechanisms becoming the pattern of my thinking. One of those patterns for me is worry.

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Reflections and Lessons

The Delicious Ambiguity of Life

July 14, 2020
by admin

It was a beautiful sunny day with just a bit of a breeze and my husband wanted to go for bike ride up one of the trails near our home. I was hesitant as the hill he wanted to climb was rather steep for about a mile and I was not confident in my ability to make it. He assured me we could turn around at any point so we embarked on our little adventure. Surprisingly, I had requested only one brief stop midway up the hill before resuming our trek. Soon the top came into in view, teasing us with its proximity, and we continued until just a few hundred feet from our destination. And then I stopped. Not a rest stop, but a full on my lungs were burning and my heart felt like it would leap out of my chest at any moment stop. As I stood gasping, straddling my bike with my feet firmly planted on the ground, my husband encouraged me to rest and catch my breath. He maintained we could make it, which really meant he knew he could and was trying to make me believe I could as well. As my breathing relaxed he instructed me to begin riding by heading down hill first before turning back up. Crazy idea I thought and stubbornly hopped back on the bike with the tires pointed straight up hill attempting to pedal. Making no progress other than spinning my wheels in the sand, I stopped, completely defeated and gave my husband that look of ‘I’m done and knew I couldn’t do this’ at which time he again encouraged me to try riding down hill first. Shrugging my shoulders I gave it a try. Then the magic happened. Heading back down hill gave me enough momentum that I was able to turn back up hill and made it to the top of the trail. Progress!

Mindfulness

When the Magic Happens

July 8, 2020July 8, 2020
by admin

In the last few years I have had several people express to me that we are all here by choice. Our souls choose our parents and the time to make the journey to this corporal world. In many ways this idea is comforting, allowing me to believe there is a purpose behind everything I am experiencing and a reassurance that everything that happens is for a reason. Similar to my belief that no matter the experience I am having, it is because God has placed me there for my learning and growth. And yet, I also have free choice in so many ways. I have the ability to direct much of what I do and experience. Indeed, it is through choice after choice that lead me to this day, to sit here listening to the ocean play it’s melody outside and feel the breeze coming through the windows as I type these words.

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Heroes Among Us

A Hero Among Us and The Cheerleader

July 2, 2020
by admin

When first meeting Ken Ostini, his six foot plus stature is rather imposing, but his friendly, warm manner and easy banter quickly expose his love for Lompoc as well as his long history in our community. My interactions with Ken initially looked to be short lived. He became the CEO of the Lompoc Valley Chamber of Commerce as my time on the board came to an end, hardly allowing us to learn each other’s name. Fortunately for me, a short time later, our paths crossed again and again on a regular basis as I was able to work with him for several years on different activities within our valley.

Reflections and Lessons

When the Earth Held Her Breath

June 24, 2020June 24, 2020
by admin

The landscape for most people has changed, at least a bit if not dramatically, with the advent of the pandemic. With shelter at home decrees or just plain wanting to stay safe, what was perceived as a ‘normal’ daily routine quickly became a thing of the past. For me there was a period of time that it felt like the Earth was holding her breath as we figured out how to navigate living in a world with the threat of a deadly foe that was unseen and virtually undetectable.

Uncategorized

What I Heard

June 16, 2020June 15, 2020
by admin

In the aftermath of the murder of George Floyd, a cry arose. A cry that demanded to be heard. A cry that had many stories to tell. Stories that mirrored the lack of respect of another person’s life just based on the color of their skin. As this began there was a request that white people silence their social media accounts except to share what black or other people of color had created to share. I respected this request for this was their story to tell and not mine. It was, however, my turn to listen.

What I heard were mothers that shared the concern they have for their children. This concern was not just about the happiness or success of their children, but concern about whether they would be alive the next day. Would they remember how to dress, how to speak, how to present themselves so they would not become another statistic? Fear for my children is something I understand but this was not a fear I had experienced once much less every day.

What I heard were voices mourning the loss of loved ones in circumstances that I would most likely never encounter and definitely had never envisioned.

What I heard were voices expressing the love of their community but not trusting the people in leadership because of generations of betrayals.

What I heard were voices asking for respect of their differences. Not allowances. Not special treatment. Respect.

What I heard were voices asking to tell their stories from their point of view without being told they were wrong just because their perception differed from the main stream.

What I heard were voices asking to be heard. Asking to be validated. Asking to be told they matter just as much as any other American.

What I heard were human voices expressing their love, their pain, their concerns, their hopes, their dreams…reminding me how alike we truly are despite any surface differences.

This was a novel experience for me, remaining silent and not offering my opinion, insight or judgement and it was not easy at times. There were times I was angry and frustrated. Times I felt I was being judged unfairly and not allowed to defend myself. Times I could not offer my thoughts or suggest another way. And in those times I would remind myself, what I was feeling, was only a small part of what people experiencing racism face on a daily basis.

This part of the journey is not over so I will continue to listen as the stories are told, no matter the discomfort. I will continue to learn so that I may understand and join my voice to those that are crying out against racism and injustice. I will continue to have compassion and empathy for all people despite our differences. For the truth is, there is only one race and it is through connection, understanding and compassion we can heal as a nation.

Wishing everyone much love and compassion as we heal together on this heartfelt journey. ~♥~

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.
~Martin Luther King~

Energy Flows

This is Not My Story

June 10, 2020
by admin

This is not my story to tell, but it is my turn to listen.

It is my turn to witness.

It is my turn to understand another’s experience may not mirror mine.

It is my turn to hold space so others’ voices may be heard.

It is time to join my voice with those that are trying to be heard.

~Act as if what you do makes a difference. IT DOES.~

Reflections and Lessons

When a Waterfall Meets Concrete and Steel

May 5, 2020May 4, 2020
by admin

Lower the bar. Don’t worry about what you are accomplishing, there are more important things to consider during these times. I recently had this posed to my by someone asking that isn’t this the time to lower the bar, if only for a bit?

I had to sit with this for a moment as my initial reaction was quite strong. Lowering the bar has never been the answer for me. Pushing through and reaching the bar is what I know because there is always more work to be done, more learning to be accomplished, more cleaning to do, more books to read, more…just fill in the blank. However, I reminded myself, we are all facing different challenges that a mere three months ago we hadn’t even considered. So maybe there was some validity in exploring this option.

Mother Nature

Celebrate Earth Day Every Day

April 22, 2020April 22, 2020
by admin

The first Earth Day was celebrated 50 years ago on April 22, 1970. It was founded by Gaylord Nelson, a US Senator from Wisconsin, after he witnessed the impact of a massive oil spill in Santa Barbara, California. At that time it was the largest oil spill in US history and still ranks at number 3, behind only the Deepwater Horizon and Exxon Valdez oil spills. It was Mr. Gaylord’s vision to have a “national teach-in on the environment” and energize the public to protect the environment by addressing water and air pollution concerns. Over 20 million Americans participated in that first Earth Day celebration uniting many in a common cause that had been previously fragmented over several specific environmental concerns.

Uncategorized

Endings~Today, This Moment

April 16, 2020April 16, 2020
by admin

As my boys were growing up they were involved in the usual team sports, soccer (AYSO-all your Saturdays occupied), basketball and baseball with thankfully only one season of football thrown in. My husband and I being the dedicated parents we thought we were supposed to be, were not content to sit on the sidelines and the majority of the time we found ourselves as coach, assistant coach, ref, team mom, etc. There always seemed to be need and not enough volunteers. Though the sports merry-go-round seemed to constantly spin and at times was overwhelming, those are memories that I cherish.

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