I made it through Christmas with just a bit of drama which is still being played out today but that is a another story for another day because today it is the New Year.  New Year’s day to be exact.  A day I had eagerly anticipated with a bit of excitement.  So much had changed for me in the last few years and I was looking forward to what the future held.  

In preparation for this day I did my due diligence and I reflected on 2019. I projected what I would like 2020 to be.  I chose my word for the year, (though perhaps it chose me at the direction of the universe, something I am still pondering).  And yet, now the day is here, I feel stuck and lethargic;  wondering where the sense of anticipation and quiet excitement had gone.  In many ways it reminded me of how I felt as a young girl on Christmas day after the presents had been unwrapped, the paper and ribbon placed in the trash and the tree looking quite lonely with no colorful packages nestling up against it.  There is an emptiness that settled in and didn’t want to seem to budge.  

As I scrolled through Instagram (not that I recommend Social Media for healing or reflection but as with everything, there are pros and cons) I came across a brief comment from someone that said ‘Remember, just because it is a new year, you are still you.  You didn’t change over night.’  So true I thought briefly and began to go about my day, but the comment kept coming back to me.  So I sat with it and thought a bit more about how I was feeling.  As I looked deeper I found that I had somehow, somewhere, in all my preparation for the new year built up an expectation that things were going to somehow be different.  That with the turn of a calendar page everything would be shiny and sparkling, full of promise and no regrets.  As I embraced the thought I am still me, still trying to figure out how to get along in this crazy world, I felt the heaviness that had been weighing me down leave.

So dear friends, I share with you this lesson that I seem to need to relearn at regular intervals.  Just because it’s a new year on the calendar, doesn’t mean we magically healed when the ball dropped at Times Square.  Just because we have mastered how to coexist with the person at work that continually triggered us doesn’t mean we won’t be triggered.  Just because we do our self care everyday doesn’t mean there won’t be angst and frustration.  All these things happen so that we can grow and change because there isn’t a final destination or finish line to cross if we are still breathing.   The reality is this is a journey.   A life long journey filled with a myriad of experiences for us to learn and grow from, to support and to share our love for one and another.  A journey to experience all that life has to offer, good and bad.  Armed with the insight and acceptance of this lesson once again, the day took on the sparkle of promise that had seemed so elusive just a short time before.  

Wishing you much love and acceptance for yourself and your daily happenstance on your heartfelt journey!  ~♥~