Vacation or time away from home and the day to day routine is very healing and much needed in our overly scheduled lifestyles.  It can can also be challenging just to carve the time out and make the preparations but then you can breathe…the holiday has begun!  Or has it?  

I don’t know about you dear friend, but sometimes a long awaited trip, time away, or just down time I have been looking forward to doesn’t deliver the promises I thought had been made.  There are snafus in travel (truly, traveling is not for the faint of heart!), discomfort with different foods or just being out of your normal environment. Usually, the biggest let down for me is that not everything I had hoped to see or accomplish happens.  Somewhere in the preparation I lead myself to believe this vacation or time off was to be an experience of joyous days filled with exciting events, no discord, productivity and perfect pictures to remember the whole event with.   

Then reality bites.  No terrible tragedy but just the everyday happenstance of expectation and reality not agreeing to play nicely.  This time I was prepared.  My daily mindfulness practices have given me a level of comfort for accepting what is even when not planned.  I was not, however, prepared for this to happen to the extent it did with my husband.  He had envisioned at least a few days of surfing and relaxing at the beach and some days of non travel but Mother Nature did not cooperate.  Instead we seemed to be on the road nearly everyday chasing surf or sun and usually finding neither.  For me, this meant no down time for just myself as well as trying to deflect his disappointment, frustration and anger and not take them on as my own.   

In accepting the moments as they unfolded I found peace but also found I was having to dig deep to not let his experience unduly influence mine.  I had a lot of empathy for his position remembering past instances when my expectations and reality didn’t coexist harmoniously but I have also come to realize it is not my place to heal or fix what he is feeling.  That is his work.  Indeed, I have been quite selfish in the past by taking on his unwanted emotions as that was the easier path for me than sitting with the discomfort.  But in doing this, I didn’t give him the opportunity to learn and grow. So I sat, concentrated on the moment, stayed quiet, holding space for him to work through what he was feeling.  While this didn’t work everytime, it did minimize the arguments to just a few short lived disagreements.  Quite an accomplishment as living in close quarters (a small RV) with someone for 21 days and spending essentially every minute of everyday together is quite challenging! And my dear sweet husband did learn a lot about himself, eventually thanking me for my patience.  I in turn thanked him for his patience and for giving me something to work on, leading to a good laugh.  

So I sit here and reflect, with only one day left in this beautiful holiday.  I have one sunset and sunrise, a few meals, and a couple of beach walks to enjoy.  I have memories of some wonderful hikes, sites and people we have met as well as pictures to share with family and friends.  I have learned much about another country and found that as much as we are all different, the similarities seem to be as many or more.  I have also learned more about myself than I expected and celebrate the lessons learned, giving grace to myself when my actions and words weren’t perfect or what I had hoped.  And as for expectation and reality not playing nicely?  I am sure there will be laughter about some of those stories in the future and they may even be some of the most treasured memories.  

Wishing you much love and grace when reality doesn’t play nicely with expectations on your heartfelt journey! ~♥~