Many years ago, at an evening meeting to discuss recreational opportunities for the youth in our community, I first became acquainted with Pastor Bernie Federmann, or Pastor B, as he is affectionately known. I knew little about him, so I had no preconceived ideas of who he was apart from his profession, but Pastor B didn’t quite fit the pattern of a religious leader I had determined from others with whom I had worked. His compassion for people, whether a part of his congregation or not, was so apparent that the air practically vibrated with this belief. His peaceful, measured tone was reassuring and hopeful, even when relaying undesirable information. It was a brief encounter, one that didn’t occur again until many years later, but one that I kept close to my heart, aspiring to emulate when possible.

Born into a Jewish family, Pastor B grew up in Burbank. He was the second son of European immigrants who were wed after just three meetings, his father, a survivor of the Holocaust. It was his parents who taught him much about faith in God and demonstrated to him the love of family and neighbors.

One of those neighbors was the Biddle family, and through their small kindnesses, they showed a young Pastor B the importance and the impact of serving others. Pastor B recounts how they always shared cookies, the newspaper, and other things, but perhaps more importantly, it was how they showed up for people in the neighborhood. The Biddle family didn’t preach or judge; they served through their presence, support, and love. And it was at their invitation and with his parents’ consent he, a young Jewish boy, attended church and eventually church camp, leading him to his faith in Christ today that is so much a part of his life. At church camp, Bernie bonded with Rick Gilmore, his first youth pastor, who became like a big brother to him and for whom he has a wealth of gratitude. And as was shared with him by Pastor Rick and others, over the last 44 years as a pastor, Pastor B has gifted his presence with mentoring new pastors and leaders.

Some people are ‘born’ leaders, and for Pastor B, there seems to be some truth to this adage, with his leadership skills being recognized by his fifth-grade teacher. He relates, ‘She would often say, “Bernie, you are a leader and I need you to help me lead this class and get the students to listen more and line up when I ask them to do so. Will you help me do that?”‘ Encouraged by her belief in him, Pastor B did as asked. He then continued to find encouragement and confirmation through other teachers, leading him to understand, ‘Life is not about me, or what I can get or control; it is all about serving God and others, loving God and loving others.’ A sentiment anyone familiar with Pastor B’s congregation knows well.

The event that Pastor B points to as the most pivotal in his life is understandably his older brother’s death. His brother died tragically in his senior year in high school when Pastor B was still in eighth grade. He remembers vividly when law enforcement came to his house to notify the family of the tragedy, recalling not only his family’s grief but the distress the officers were feeling. He also remembers how the Biddle family once again supported the Federmann family with their presence and friendship. These memories have led Pastor B to serve our community as a volunteer chaplain and be there to support not just family members but also the officers when they deliver news for which no one is ever prepared.

When I ask what inspires him, Pastor B shares it is his family. ‘My daughter Jamie is a real joy to me, and though her autism has its challenges, she inspires me daily, as does my son, Brian, Santa Barbara City Fire Department Operational Chief, one of the finest leaders I know.’ He continues, ‘My wife Debbie is the most amazing and serving person, and my daughter-in-law, Stephanie, an amazing Mom.’ He quickly adds his grandchildren to the list Payton and Kylie, citing their ‘love for life, faith in God, and respect of their parents and friends.’

And his heroes? The list is long and includes not individuals but, unsurprisingly, those who serve. The military who serve our country and the first responders who serve our communities. Pastor B also speaks of the teachers and coaches who serve our children. These are the people he considers his heroes.

What I have learned about Pastor B through the years is that it is not just his compassion, but his belief in the power of small kindnesses that is inspiring. He has made a lasting impact in our community through his service and faith, leading his church for 36 years, hosting Harvest Block Parties, coordinating the Post Game Party, and serving our community with many other large gestures. Still, it is his belief in the small actions that I truly appreciate. Simple gestures like unexpectedly giving a water bottle with cold water to a young skateboarder who has been honing his craft in the hot sun, telling someone who is walking their dog they are ‘awesome’ as he drives by, or just being there to share someone’s grief or loneliness. These are the gestures he believes in and practices every day and have the power to change lives. Thank you, Pastor B, for sharing your beliefs through your actions and words, and teaching me about small kindnesses and the magic they hold.

True heroism is remarkably sober, very undramatic. It is not the urge to surpass all others at whatever the cost, but the urge to serve others at whatever the cost.

~Arthur Ashe~